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Insight improves your outlook.

If the world were constantly getting better, there'd be no demand for antiques.

You could never convince a pig that the pen is mightier than the sword.

There are two ways of being useful to one’s fellow man. One is by being a shining example; the other, an object lesson.

The road paved with good intentions is hell to travel.

Hatred is the only revenge available to a powerless people.

Virtue is not self evident. (It often must be made obvious.)

People who are well-read are considered very intelligent, whereas they are merely well-read. (Discriminating readers, that is.)

Natural curiosity is a precursor to knowledge. (Unless you are a cat.)

Garabed’s Law: Where you expect more, you always get less.

Where appearances beguile, reason loses.

Past, Present & Future: But for what was, what is could never be

Vegetarian cannibal: One who eats only vegetarian missionaries.

A sneeze is an orgasm you can display in public.

Armenian-American Proportion I is to Yes as Yes is to Iyo.

Armenian-American solmization (solfeggio) Dol-ma fa-sool-ya tea dough.

Major differences will always exist. Where you eliminate a major difference, a minor difference becomes a major difference.

Question: What was the name of the most renowned Sassountsi? Answer: Kourkig Jelaly. It was the name of the fabulous horse of Davad of Sassoun. (Sassoun tsi, get it?)

Othello: The story of an interracial marriage that didn’t work out so well

The story of Cinderella: From charwoman to chairwoman.

Casual Prince: A member of royalty who has blue jeans on the outside and blue genes on the inside.

Unlikely sayings

What is so rare as a day in June--in Santiago, Chile?

Cyclops: Sometimes you must shut one eye to what goes on around you.

Why pedagogues become pedantic: To be receptive to truth requires uncertainty, while pedagogues must speak with certainty.

What you hear is not what you see (Mondegreens) On two separate occasions in my working life I have been telephonically referred to two men who turned out to be women:

Andy Persia (Ann Di Persia)

Mr. Miller (Miss Stamilla)

Dialectical materialism EXXON does business in Russia under the name of EXXOFF.

All Hail! The twin peaks of Ararat represent the breasts of Mother Armenia from which all spiritual nourishment flows.

A mirror has no conscience.

Shakespearean actor with enlarged prostate: "To pee or not to pee?"

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